How to find that elusive “Passion”

My journey and a tool to pave your path

Struggling with finding your passion just like I did? Let me take you through the events and actions that helped me in my quest. I will further introduce you to a tool, Ikigai, that may provide insight.

Frequently, we need a nudge and “critical” feedback from people we trust to know our capabilities — we ourselves may be blind to them. I was lucky to have Kathy Baldanza, my mentor, who helped me find my groove early on.

I was in my second job, a startup. I was a software quality engineer. One day, Kathy asked me to lead the team. I felt nervous, awkward, and excited at the same time. As expected, Kathy took my enthusiasm for new technology and my strive for technical competence into account. However, she paid equal or more attention to my soft skills such as my ability to connect the dots, supporting my teammates, and conflict resolution skills. Her assessment got me thinking: doesn’t everyone do that? The answer is no. I didn’t realize that what was natural and effortless for me, what I am good at, was what made me uniquely qualified for the job.

That realization was the first step of my journey.

The next step was to make myself more effective by spending time honing my inherent abilities. The new role was a breeze some days when we were collaborating on solving a problem or creating a new tool to test efficiently. It was boring and arduous on days when I had to update 100 tests to execute reliably. I needed to sharpen and practice mundane skills such as time management by learning from experts. It took hard work and tenacity to turn some skills into habits. If Kathy hadn’t pointed out my strengths explicitly, I may have continued to ignore them and not refined them.

Fast forward a few years…. I learnt to pay attention to what I like, what I don’t like, and what gaps I needed to fill. I loved my field — anything and everything to do with engineering services. Among the multiple facets of my job that I enjoyed, I learnt that building relationships was the most rewarding for me. It required time investment and nurturing, which I was willing and able to do well. I appreciated the nuances of conflict resolution and I got better at it with each incident.

I found an experience that is extremely rewarding but required setting boundaries. I have always had people gravitate to me when they are attempting to find clarity around personal issues. I love exploring and helping. At the same time, I fulfill a need that people have by just being myself. Over time though, I have found that if the situation has to do with a troubled marital relationship, I may get emotionally exhausted (have not figured out why yet). So, why do I continue? Because I find the experience vastly enriching. All I need to do is to learn my limits. Paying attention to my feelings and doing the best I can allows me to continue down my chosen path.

I tried out things that I believed I wanted to do. My thinking and reality were sometimes different. At one point, I dipped my feet into technical writing. It was not my thing. However, the sheer fun I am having writing this article needs further exploring.

To me, my passion and the search for “meaning of life” are interrelated concepts. I find that the Japanese concept of Ikigai, a reason for being, is useful in exploring these concepts. Be mindful of not expecting instant insight; it may take years to understand and achieve your “Ikigai”. I started off on the edge of the diagram and have ended up close to the middle through personal development and external forces. I have successfully helped a few of my teammates explore their passions by using a similar mechanism. Measure of success? They have admitted being much happier.

A great pictorial representation of Ikigai that I have found by Millenial Coach is shown below

In my profession, I love the concept of what I call “effortless quality”. I am good at finding opportunities for “continuous improvement” and executing on them. I am fortunate enough to be able to combine my love and skills in my job to get “paid”. I find immense satisfaction in helping individuals who approach me with a variety of issues. Maybe, I fulfill what the world needs at a very small scale. However, that is enough for me. I feel purposeful and whole. I know I am on the right path because I am internally motivated. My teammates confirm the fact by frequently letting me know that my passion is contagious; it makes them enjoy their work in turn.

Since you are here, you probably want help in your quest for passion. My recommendation is

• Find a theme in things that bring you joy. The exercise may provide clarity
• Investigate and try new things — there are free resources just waiting to be utilized; people willing to help
• Get feedback from people you trust to identify your skills, strengths, and weaknesses — listen with an open mind, create an action plan, execute
• Just the discovery itself is not enough. Take concrete steps towards that direction, even if they are small steps. The path itself may point you to a different direction
• See if you can incorporate the elements you have identified in the pursuit of passion within your current job — it will allow you to practice building your muscle in these areas
• There can be more than one thing that excites and motivates you. Come up with a plan to do one or multiple at different phases of your life

Passion evolves over time. There is always one more door to discover and open. Therein, lies the joy….